I Sell the Dead (2008)

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A grave robber waiting for his execution relays his story to a priest.


Horror, Comedy


Arthur Blake - Dominic Monaghan

Willy Grimes - Larry Fessenden

Dr. Quint - Angus Scrimm

Father Duffy - Ron Perlman

Fanny Briers - Brenda Cooney

Cornelius Murphy - John Speredakos

Young Arthur - Daniel Manche

Maisey O'Connell - Eileen Colgan

Old Man - James Godwin

Mortuary Creature

Langol Creature

Ronnie - Joel Garland

Jack Flood - Aidan Redmond

Bulger - Alisdair Stewart

Valentine Kelly - Heather Bullock

Executioner - Chris Shaw

Howling Man - Martin Pfefferkorn

Young Cornelius - Jackie Arnold

Vampire - Heather Robb

One Legged Creature - Patrick Bucklew

Prostitute - Jennifer Stackpole

Tommy Burke - Ken Robertson

Benny Robertson - Stephen Parish

Brahm Thatcher - Jim Noonan

Norris Halpen - Ryan Horsnail

Town Crier - James Bain

Hugo Fortune - Sean Reid

Dancing Katie - Haidyn Janae Harvey

Jippo Kelly - Charlie Simpson

Modger Kelly - Conor Simpson

Wake Corpse - Sheri Melby

Zombie Hand - Michael Vincent

Vampire Arms - Lisa Golub and Danni Read

Hostler - VET



Character thumbnails with links to profiles

Detailed Synopsis

The Town Crier yells that Willy Grimes is about to be executed. The Executioner drags Willy to the gallows. Norris Halpen yells to lop Willie's head off and Brahm Thatcher curses at Willy. Willy's head is then removed from his body by the guillotine. As Father Duffy is walking through the prison, he kicks an Old Man. Duffy walks into Arthur Blake's cell and takes a seat next to Arthur at a table. He reads off the charges against Arthur, grave robbing and murder, and tells him that it is his duty to write down Arthur's final words. Arthur tells Duffy that he is innocent of murder and he was framed by someone leaving a trail of limbs to his and Willy's homes. Arthur at first tells Duffy that he can't remember how everything started, but then Duffy offers him some whiskey. Arthur starts his story and tell Duffy about the first time he met Willy. In the past, Arthur tells Willy that Ronnie gave him a beer and told him where to meet Willy for work. They come to a grave and Willy digs a narrow hole and then has Arthur make a hole in the coffin. They then pull a corpse]] up and Arthur recognizes her. Willy drops his flask and asks Arthur to pick it up and is about to hit him in the head with the shovel when Arthur turns around and Willy decides to let him live.

Willy takes Arthur as an apprentice and they eventually start body snatching for Dr. Quint. They eventually have to start body snatching bodies for free for Quint, when Quint threatens to tell the authorities on them. They were eventually forced to steal corpses during wakes. During the wake for Wake Corpse, Maisey O'Connell gives Tommy Burke and Jack Flood a drink and they give a toast to Wake Corpse. Arthur walks into the funeral parlor and tells Maisey that the Wake Corpse was his aunt. Maisey, Tommy and Jack go into the kitchen to get tea for Arthur so he can be alone with Wake Corpse and when they close the kitchen door, Arthur ties a rope around it so it can't be opened. He then ties a rope around Wake Corpse and then he and Willy pull it out and take it. As they are walking to the pub, a Prostitute calls out to Arthur and asks him when he is going to marry her. They go to the Fortune of War where Howling Man is howling and Benny Robertson tells him to shut-up. Dancing Katie, Jippo Kelly and Modger Kelly dance and sing. Ronnie tells Willy that the House of Murphy will come after him and Arthur. Quint walks into the pub and asks Willy how the corpse they gave him was so clean. Quint then demands more corpses.

Arthur continues telling his story to Duffy and tells him of when he and Willy came across something that wasn't quite dead. Arthur and Willy go to the moors and Arthur shares his sandwich with Willy, who shares his whiskey. Arthur wonders why the corpse is buried outside a cemetery in a crossroads. They remove the shroud from the corpse and see that it has garlic around its neck and a stake through its heart. Arthur removes the garlic and then they pull out the stake. The Vampire then gets up and starts to walk down the road. The Vampire attacks Arthur and Willy hits it with a shovel. It then attacks Willy and Willy manages to put the stake back into its heart. Willy then comes up with an idea and they deliver the Vampire to Quint. He sees the stake, pulls it out and then screams. Afterwards they continued to rob the corpses of the undead including Zombie Hands which would net ten times the pay. Arthur tells Duffy about the House of Murphy and an encounter he and Willy had with them. Willy shows Arthur his new cart and tells Arthur that he might use it to pick up horse feces, which Hugo Fortune told him about. They arrive at a burial and Arthur notices the ground is frozen. They start digging and find the coffin which they were told to not open. As they are carrying the coffin they drop it and the lid falls off.

They look inside and find an Alien inside. Willy thinks it might be a freak from Dotsie's circus. Cornelius Murphy confronts them and demands they give him the Alien. Arthur refuses to hand over the Alien and he and Cornelius start fighting over it. As they are fighting over it, a light shines from overhead and the Alien disappears. Eventually Arthur and Willy take Fanny Briers as an apprentice. After Willy and Arthur have a drinking contest, Ronnie sits at their table and tells them a story Maisey told him. Ronnie says that while on her first night on the job at the mortuary, she encountered a Mortuary Creature from a shipment that was supposed to go to Langols Island. When she opened the crate the Mortuary Creature was in, it attacked her, but stopped when it saw the cross on her chain. Ronnie tells them that the mortuary has hired the House of Murphy to recover the remaining creatures. Arthur tells Fanny about the House of Murphy, Samuel, their leader, Cornelius, his son, Valentine Kelly, and the Bulger. Fanny thinks they should go after the Langols crates, but Arthur and Willy tell her no. During the night, Fanny tries to convince Arthur to go after the Langols crates. He tells her more about the House of Murphy and how Samuel used to crush things Cornelius liked as a child including a clockwork toy and a chick he called Pappy.

Fanny tells Arthur that she is going to Langols Island herself and then convinces Arthur and Willy to join her. As Willy is rowing them to the island, Arthur asks him if he remembered to bring his crucifix and when Willy pulls it out, he accidentally tosses it into the water. Bulger, who is already on the island kicks one of the crates when the Langol Creature growls. Fanny sneaks behind Bulger and slits his throat. Arthur and Willy get upset with Fanny for killing Bulger. Willy tries to convince Arthur to leave with him, but Arthur decides to stay. They open one of the crates and find a foot. The Langol Creature jumps out of its crate and attacks Willy. It bites him, but Fanny manages to get it inside a cage. Cornelius throws a knife into Fanny's forehead and then tells Willy and Arthur that now he will have five bodies to sell. Arthur offers to join Cornelius, but Cornelius tells Valentine to kill him and Willy. Valentine removes her mask and the Langol Creature becomes so disgusted it breaks out of the cage and attacks her. Cornelius tries to help her and a One Legged Creature hops over and attacks Cornelius. Arthur and Willy manage to get free and go back to the Fortune of War. They argue and decide to stop working together and Ronnie kicks them out. Arthur finishes his story and Duffy reveals himself to be Samuel Murphy and attacks Arthur. As he is about to kill Arthur, Willy hits Samuel in the head with a piece of wood. Willy, who is carrying his head, tells Arthur that the bite from the Langol Creature turned him supernatural. Arthur and Willy then walk out of the jail. Back at Langols Island, an undead Cornelius rises from the water.