Santa with Muscles (1996)

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A millionaire with amnesia befriends a group of orphans when he believes he is Santa Claus.




Blake - Hulk Hogan

Lenny - Don Stark

Leslie - Robin Curtis

Clayton - Garrett Morris

Elizabeth - Aria Noelle Curzon

Taylor - Adam Wylie

Sarah - Mila Kunis

Helen Chu - Jennifer Paz

Hinkley - Clint Howard

Chas - William Newman

Franco - Robert Apisa

Pierre - Pierre Dulat

Dr. Blight - Steve Valentine

Ebner Frost - Ed Begley Jr.

Dr. Vial - Kai Ephron

Dr. Watt - Diane Robin

Dr. Flint - Kevin West

Mr. Rapini - Ed Donno

Steven - Andre Jamal Kinney

Girl - Bentley Shuster

Baldie - Troy Robinson

Nose Ring - Pete Apisa

Susan - Brenda Song

Brat Kid - Malone Brinton

Mall Manager - Bridget Michele

Sumo Lab Assistant - Ed Leslie

Boy in Corridor - Blake Shuster

Character thumbnails with links to profiles

Detailed Synopsis

Elizabeth writes a letter to Santa Claus asking for his help to protect the orphanage from Ebner Frost. The letter continues that Frost has been a bully to everyone in town and is trying to take away their orphanage. She ends her letter asking Santa to stop by the orphanage to help them. She hears tires squealing and looks out the window to see Leslie, Clayton, Taylor and Sarah chasing after Frost's van which is dragging off their Christmas tree. Blake watches a group of men working at a mansion. He then fights them including Pierre, Franco and Chas, who throws a plate at Blake, which Blake catches. Blake then calls for the time when he is surrounded and asks the people he attacked, who are his workers, how he did. He picks up a can of his Bulk Builder and tells Chas the picture on the can isn't big enough and he needs to be tanner in the picture. The phone rings and Chas tells Blake his guests have arrived. He creates Blake's Rule 386, never mix business with pleasure. Pierre is told to recite rule 105, never give an inch when you can take one. Franco then is told to recite rule 91, never lend a hand, you might need it later. Chas tells Blake a charity organization asked to use the mansion for a fundraiser, but Blake tells him no. Blake gets into his Hummer and drives off to play paintball. Hinkley is sitting in his patrol car scanning the area for speeders when Blake and his paintball friends speed past him. Hinkely gives chase and more patrol cars join him. Blake tells his passenger rule 20, never surrender. They drive towards the Lakeville Mall. At the mall an old woman is sleeping at a Help Save the Childrens Mission booth. The Mall Manager waits impatiently for Santa to return as a line to see him grows. Blake tells his passenger rule 21, when in doubt get out and jumps out of the Hummer.

Lenny tells Dr. Blight on the phone that he will have the money he owes to him by the end of the day. The Mall Manager offers 50 dollars to whoever finds Santa. Dr. Blight introduces himself to Mr. Rapini who is hanging upside down. A TV is placed in front of Mr. Rapini and a feed is played. Frost tells Mr. Rapini that he hopes they can come to an agreement on the sale of Mr. Rapini's shoe store. Frost introduces Mr. Rapini to his associates including Dr. Flint who starts to brush Mr. Rapini, Dr. Vial who sprays Mr. Rapini with methane gas, and Dr. Watt who uses her electric gloves to explode a rose. While sneaking around the mall, Blake sees a Santa costume and puts it on. He is stopped by Hinkley who asks him if he has seen anyone come through the area. A Boy in Corridor stops Blake and shows him his Christmas list and Blake calls him a brat and tells him to fax his list. As Blake is walking away, Hinkley notices his a portion of his desert camouflage uniform sticking out from the Santa costume. Blake runs away and hides in a garbage chute, but is knocked unconscious when a janitor drops a giant plastic Santa on him. Lenny finds Blake and steals his wallet. Blake wakes up and Lenny convinces Blake that he is Santa. Lenny brings Blake to the mall Santa's Village and Blake takes photos with different kids including Steven, Susan, Brat Kid, and Girl. Lenny tries to use Blake's credit card in an ATM, but finds out he will need Blake's fingerprint to use it. Baldie and Nose Ring steal the snow globe filled with donations to the Childrens Mission, but are spotted by Susan, who yells for Santa. Nose Ring and Baldie attack Blake, but he beats them up to the cheers of the parents and children. Blake sees the sign for the Childrens Mission and he and Lenny ride there on Lenny's scooter.

Mr. Rapini yells he will sell his store while he is being tortured and Frost sends Dr. Blight to harass the orphanage. Dr. Watt and Dr. Flint tie chains that are attached to their ice cream van, around the orphanage statue and Dr. Vial sticks a sign in the front yard telling the orphanage they only have three more days to leave. Dr. Flint drives off after ripping the statue from its base and almost drives over Clayton, but is stopped by Blake who holds the van back by pulling on the chains. The orphans, Leslie and Clayton thank Blake and Leslie invites him for dinner. Everyone introduces themselves and tell Blake about Frost and his associates. They have dinner and Leslie tells Blake and Lenny that they can stay for the night. The next morning, Blake walks to the dining room without his beard and tells Elizabeth Mrs. Claus told him his beard tickles her and he only wears it to make deliveries. The day's paper mentions a high speed chase ended when the gas ran out and Santa with muscles foiled a fundraiser ripoff. Leslie mentions she recognizes Blake from somewhere and Lenny grabs the Blake's Way Power Crisp cereal box and hides it. Sarah brings Blake his new Santa outfit that she made for him. Helen Chu stops by the orphanage and interviews Blake. Lenny tries to use Blake's fingerprint on a glass to get into his account, but it is the wrong finger. Lenny is grabbed and Frost tells him to get rid of Blake before he is thrown out of the ice cream truck. Blake goes into the church to talk with Elizabeth and she tells him about the magic windows and as she and Blake sing, the windows light up.

Clayton tells Blake that he is proud of him for making something for himself, which confuses Blake. The head from the orphanage statue is thrown through the window with a note telling them they only have one more day to move out. Blake goes outside and fights Dr. Blight and Dr. Vial and they drive away. Sarah notices Taylor is gone and Blake and Lenny go to Frost's mansion. They find Taylor and Blake tells him he shouldn't look for fights. Blake hears Frost tell Dr, Blight that he wants the orphanage gone and sees a map with a red area surrounding the orphanage. Blake asks everyone at the orphanage what is underneath it and finds out there are catacombs under it and a vault. They go to the vault and Blake somehow knows one of the numbers of the combination and finds the initials BK etched into the vault door. They go into the vault and enter a cave filled with piezoelectric crystals, which can hold electricity and are worth millions. They leave the vault and Blake starts to wonder how he knew the combination and Lenny gives him the uniform he found on him. Lenny gets a call from Frost and argues with him. The lights go out and Blake has to fight Dr. Blight again. During the fight, Blake is pushed into the back of a passing trash truck. He wakes up back at his mansion and Chas tells him a waste disposal engineer found him and recognized him from his brand picture. Blake calls the orphanage and is told to leave them all alone by Leslie, but which turns out to be a tape recording made by Frost. Frost tells Dr. Blight to assemble everyone to attack the orphanage. Helen Chu gives a report that Santa hasn't been seen lately. Frost and his goons arrive at the orphanage and break down its doors. The children are grabbed and brought into the catacombs and Frost tells Leslie that he will use Elizabeth, Sarah and Taylor as his miners in the vault. Frost tries to get the children to open the vault and Frost reveals to everyone that Lenny helped let Frost into the orphanage. Dr. Flint then starts to try and break into the vault.

Lenny calls Blake and tells him what is going on at the orphanage, but the call is cut short and Dr. Blight takes the phone from Lenny and mocks Blake. Lenny is thrown out of the orphanage by Sumo Lab Assistant. Blake assembles, Chas, Pierre and Franco and drive towards the orphanage. They speed by Hinkley who chases after them and two more patrol cars join him. A deputy fires an RPG and Blake dodges it and it blows up Hinkley's patrol car. Blake and his crew arrive at the orphanage and fight their way inside and save the children. Elizabeth realizes Blake isn't Santa, but tells him he is better than Santa. Lenny helps Blake fight Dr. Watts and afterwards gives back Blake's wallet. Clayton reveals to Blake that he grew up on the orphanage and was best friends with Frost. Blake goes into the catacombs and confronts Frost and Frost recognizes Blake as his old friend. Frost runs into the vault and Blake follows him inside. Frost tells Blake while he was adopted by rich parents, he had to cheat and steal to make his fortune. Frost and Blake start to fight and Sarah helps Blake by pulling off Frost's suit's air supply. The fight causes the crystals to vibrate and they eventually explode, causing the orphanage to collapse. Hinkley arrives in his burnt up vehicle and tells everyone to freeze. Helen Chu arrives and interviews Hinkley. Frost and his associates are taken away by the police. The orphanage then moves to Frost's old mansion. The orphans then use a telescope to watch Frost and his associates pick up trash in prison. Elizabeth calls it a Christmas miracle and Blake throws a Santa hat into the air.