Willie (Bad Santa)

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Willie

Background

Willie is a safe cracker. He once served time in prison, has been married twice and was a draft dodger during Vietnam and fled to Mexico for two years. Willie had his eye socket broken, only has one remaining kidney and has a bone chip in his ankle. His family never celebrated Christmas. Willie's father taught him how to crack safes.

During the events of Bad Santa (2003) played by Billy Bob Thornton

While sitting at a bar in Milwaukee, Willie narrates all the bad things that have gone on during his life. He then walks out of the bar and vomits in the alley. Drum Set Girl tells Willie she wants a drum set for Christmas. Milwaukee Bratty Kid is next and tells Willie, he isn't the real Santa, and Willie bumps him off his lap. After the last kid is done, Marcus walks over to Willie and notices Willie peed himself. Milwaukee Security Guard says goodbye to the departing shoppers and employees, but stops Willie as he is trying to leave. He tells Willie his pants look baggy and insinuates Willie is using them to hide something, but Willie insults him and walks out. Milwaukee Security Guard initiates the mall store alarm system and a timer starts. Marcus, who was hiding as a snowman in the Christmas display runs to the alarm and turns it off. He opens the back door and lets Willie in and Willie starts breaking into the safe while Marcus grabs items from the store based off of a list he has. Willie gets the safe open and they gather the money and get into a van driven by Lois and drive away. Willie and Marcus go to a bar and Willie buys Marcus a shot from Milwaukee Bartender. Marcus tells Willie he is taking longer to break open the safes and Willie tells him he is going to retire and buy a bar on the beach in Miami. Marcus doesn't believe him and tells Willie, he is just going to drink his money away.

Several months later at Miami Beach, Willie is standing behind a bar cutting limes. Miami Bartender walks up to him and tells him to get away from behind his bar, Willie chugs a shot and curses at Miami Bartender and Miami Bartender physically throws him out of the bar. Willie then eats a corn dog and watches a women playing volleyball. His alarm goes off at 11:15 am and he throws it into his apartment wall and chugs the remainder of a beer. He walks up to a valet booth and steals a bunch of keys. He presses the clickers on the key rings and then steals a Jaguar and drives to the address on the vehicle registration card. He eats and drinks from the fridge in the house and then steals money from the safe. He goes to a strip joint and picks up a waitress and brings her home. Willie listens to his phone messages and gets one from Marcus, who tells him to meet him in Phoenix.

Several days later, in Phoenix, Arizona, walk to their first day of work. Harrison calls Willie and Marcus hacks and Bob Chipeska introduces himself to them. As Big Booty Woman walks by, Willie stares intently at her butt. Willie overhears Chipeska talk about their performance and accuses him of talking about his genitalia. Marcus is forced to try and smooth things over and blames Willie's comments on low blood sugar. When he finds him drunk, Marcus goes and yells at Willie and tells him to act professional. Nintendo Deer Hunter 3 Boy sneezes ice cream all over Willie's face and then asks for a Nintendo Deer Hunter game. Barbie Girl is next and after she asks for a Barbie Girl, she accidentally steps on Willie's foot. Fraggle-Stick Boy is next and he asks for a Fraggle-Stick car, which confuses Willie and Marcus. The Kid is eventually next in line to see Willie. He pulls on Willie's beard and Willie tells him he lost his hair from having sex with an unclean woman. The Kid keeps on asking questions and Willie tells Marcus to get him away from him.

After work Willie goes to The Brass Monkey bar where he sees Hindustani Troublemaker staring at him. Sue walks over to Willie and pours him another drink and makes conversation with him. They have sex in Willie's car and after Sue leaves, Hindustani Troublemaker runs up to Willie and pushes him. He then grabs Willie and tries to sexually assault him, but Willie is saved by The Kid. Willie drives The Kid home and while they are driving there, The Kid constantly asks Willie questions about the North Pole and reindeer. Willie asks The Kid if his parents are home and finds out, The Kid only lives with his Grandma. They go inside after Willie puts on a ski mask and Grandma confuses The Kid for his father, Roger Merman. Willie realizes she has dementia and then steals from the family safe and leaves in the family car. Chipeska brings Willie and Marcus into his office and says he caught one of them having sex with a woman in the changing room. He attempts to fire them, but Willie and Marcus threaten to sue him for unfair practices and then leave his office. While walking through the food court, Marcus sees Willie flirting with Pinball Girl. Willie drives to the motel and sees someone in his room. He calls Opal over and she tells him someone that looked like a cop was asking about him.

Willie drives to The Kid's house and tells him he is going to be staying with him and The Kid tells him he wants a pink stuffed elephant for Christmas. The next morning, The Kid shows Willie his advent calendar. While Willie is at lunch in the food court, Woman in Food Court and her son walk up to him and he yells at them that he is on his lunch break. Herb goes to The Kid's house and asks Willie if he will participate in the neighborhood luminarias program. Willie and Sue start to hang out more and after one night of getting drunk, Willie finds The Kid's advent calendar and eats all of the remaining candy and then passes out. The next morning he finds it and fells bad. He and Marcus put Willie's safe cracking equipment in his Santa sack and are stopped by Phoenix Security Guard who refuses to let them in before exactly 8 am.

The Kid asks Willie if he has seen his advent calendar and when The Kid finds it, the doors have been taped back on and the candy is candy corn. After Pokemon Child tells Willie he wants Pokemon, The Kid walks up to him and tells him he wants a gorilla named Davy to beat up the Skateboard Bully. Willie tells The Kid he needs to learn how to take care of himself. Gin walks up to Marcus and then he, Willie and Marcus have a meeting that evening. He tells them he knows what they do and demands a 50% cut on the money they steal and they reluctantly agree. The next morning, Willie comes to work heavily intoxicated as a group of children stare in shock, forcing both Marcus and Gin to cover for him. As Willie is in the garage trying to commit carbon monoxide suicide in Roger's car, The Kid walks in and Willie gives him a letter to give to the police and then notices The Kid has a black eye. Willie goes to the mall and beats up Skateboard Bully in front of Watching Boys. He tells Marcus what he did and then they try to train The Kid how to fight.

A few days before Christmas, Willie and Sue find Grandma prone and at first think she has died, until she suddenly wakes up and offers to make them sandwiches. The Kid gives Willie his present, but Willie doesn't have a present for him. The night before Christmas, as Willie breaks into the safe, Marcus steals items from Lois' list. Willie gets the safe open and then goes to get The Kid a pink elephant and after he gets it, Marcus pulls a gun on him and tells him, he and Lois killed Gin. As Marcus is about to shoot Willie, Police Chief and a group of police order Marcus to drop his weapon. A shootout starts and Willie manages to get in his car and drive away. He drives to The Kid's house and as he is running to the front door with The Kid's pink elephant, he is shot multiple times and collapses as neighborhood kids watch and scream. Willie writes a letter to The Kid telling him, he sent him a t-shirt and Sue will be living with him temporarily and Willie is going to be made the sensitivity counselor for the Phoenix Police Department. He continues that Marcus and Lois are going to be spending time in prison and finishes he will be out of the hospital soon.


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